Interviewer:
Pranam, Gurudev.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Pranam, son. Yes, tell me.
Interviewer:
Gurudev, currently throughout India, we are witnessing a decline in the social fabric regarding both women and men. We see people coming to you with various desires and problems in their minds. But why are they coming so frequently? Many women and men come to you with various issues, especially regarding their family problems and divorce.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
The thing is, you see, we are spiritual people. People used to come to us with illnesses; we would perform hom-yagya (spiritual rituals) and they would get better. We have cured many major illnesses, and many people have benefited. But what has happened now is that illness isn't the primary issue. A few people still come for that, I won't deny it, but if 100 people come, 80 of them come for divorce cases. A wife has left, or a husband has left, leaving the children behind. One man asks, "What will I do with these two children?" Similarly, men come and say, "The wife left, leaving two kids. I have to feed them milk; when will I go to work? What should I do?" We don't have a direct solution for these things.
Interviewer:
But my question is, Gurudev, why is this happening?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
That is exactly what I am trying to figure out. Why is this happening? I ask many questions. For instance, a woman says her husband left her. I ask, "Is it your fault? Do you suspect your husband? Do you start arguments as soon as he gets home? When he brings home his hard-earned money, do you interrogate him about where he spent it?" These are often the root causes. A man works all day outside, and as soon as he returns, he is hounded. How long can a man tolerate that?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
And the biggest factor is the mobile phone. This mobile has ruined everything. When the husband isn't home, what goes on over the phone—I have realized this. I have observed it closely—the constant chatting. There is so much free time. Look at a man; he goes to an office or works hard elsewhere. After working all day, he is exhausted. He just wants to eat and sleep. He has to wake up early again the next morning to go back to work. Because of that stress, he can't even sleep well at night. He just crashes from exhaustion.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Meanwhile, the wife is at home all day. She eats, drinks, and does whatever she likes. She doesn't have that same sympathy for her husband. The core issue is often physical intimacy. Many times, husbands can't provide that because they are so tired. The result is that women are looking toward other men. We are seeing this happening.
Interviewer:
But Gurudev, we have seen our parents. We are older now, and our parents are at least 30 years older than us. They were so devoted to each other. That feeling seems to be gone now.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Yes, that's gone. It's because of this "open" socializing. Nowadays, before getting married, they want to live together. They say they need to "know" and "understand" each other. By doing all this, the relationship becomes bitter. Anything in excess becomes bitter. Even some parents agree to this, saying, "Let the boy and girl get to know each other first, then they can marry." This excessive socializing is one reason.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Another reason is that women are earning now. Previously, they didn't have their own income; they lived on the husband's earnings. Now that they earn, they feel they are not less than anyone. They say, "If the husband stays, fine; if not, I have my own money. I'll just get married again." So many people tell me this, and I am shocked. Their character is not stable. The most important thing is a person's character, and that has been destroyed. That's why they don't care anymore.
Interviewer:
So you're saying the husband doesn't care for the wife, and the wife doesn't care for the husband?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Yes. And very few couples come here together. Yesterday, a lady came with her "colleague." I asked her, "Why did you bring your colleague? Let him come on his own if he has a problem. You come on your own." I first asked if they were husband and wife. She said, "No, he is my senior and colleague. We work together." This constant mixing of men and women is like wood and fire. If you put them together, a fire will break out. No one can stop it. That has become the "time" we live in.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Also, we don't eat home-cooked food much anymore. Young people have moved away from it. They want Maggi, Western food, chili chicken, and so on. Even the food has changed, and so has human behavior. Children say to their parents, "We gave you so much; we studied hard, we came first or second. What did you give us?" The parents come to me and cry about this.
Interviewer:
Doesn't the child who came first or second realize the contribution of the parents?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
They don't want to admit it. They just say, "I did so much for you. Ultimately, I will be the one earning." They shift the blame onto the parents. "You made me study all my life; I couldn't enjoy myself. You were obsessed with my studies. What have you done for me?" I see these questions arising. Out of the 50 people who came today, I would say 35 to 40 were divorce cases. Either the wife left or the husband left. It's astonishing, and I have no "medicine" for this.
Interviewer:
We could look at it another way. The current trend follows Western culture. That might be why they are separating, as it happens in Western countries.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Exactly. Our traditional attire was the dhoti-punjabi. Now, everything has changed. Girls come here wearing pants that end above the knee. I have told many girls, "Change your clothes and then come to me. Don't come to me in this state." I can help them, but they should dress decently. You can't even tell if it's a boy or a girl sometimes. Boys are keeping long hair, girls are keeping long hair. It's all for fashion. They wear earrings. Their behavior is so poor. Even when they come to someone like me, they might speak respectfully, but that's about it.
Interviewer:
You feel ashamed, but they don't?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Exactly. I feel ashamed, but they don't. This is the decline of society. What you do today, your children will learn and do the same when they grow up. Parents aren't lacking in their efforts to raise their children, but the children are still going astray. Is it the influence of the phone or money? Some parents have a lot of money and give their daughters 500 rupees a day for pocket money. Boys are the same. They blackmail their parents. One gentleman, a ration dealer, came to me and said his son demands 200 rupees every day. That boy is becoming crippled by this. He knows he will get the money. It's blackmail. And when there is money, there is arrogance.
Interviewer:
And the children know they will eventually inherit everything.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
They will be the heirs, but they are destroying it before they even get it.
Interviewer:
So, the parents are also at fault for giving the children money like that?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
There is also a trend of suicide now. Parents are scared. If they don't buy an iPhone, the child threatens suicide. Parents are stuck. Nowadays, families usually have only one son or one daughter. In the old days, there were five or six siblings. If one went astray, the parents had the others. Now, with only one, if that child is stubborn, the parents are helpless. They get bullied by their own children. "Why did you give me birth?" they ask. People come to me and cry, and I have no answer.
Interviewer:
You mentioned that previously there were many children, but now we have to control the population growth. What can be done?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
I agree that we can't feed too many, so we have one. But if that one child turns out like this... parents come to me crying because their child is ill or on dialysis at age 28. If it's a physical illness, I can try to help through rituals. But what is the medicine for "my wife has left me"? What can I say to that?
Interviewer:
People believe that something can be done through divine intervention.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
How can you use divine power to bring back a wife who has left with another man? She didn't just leave; she made a connection with someone else and then left. Husbands do the same. After 20 years of marriage, they say, "I don't like it anymore," and they leave. We are seeing hundreds of cases like this. What kind of society are we living in? What will our children learn? Arguments happen in every marriage, but this is a total decline. It's like a contagious disease. "They did it, so I will too."
Interviewer:
Is this a change in human mentality?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Of course. You saw how much respect you had for your parents. Today's generation doesn't care. They call their parents their "enemies." They say, "You ruined my life." They say this to their best friends—their parents. Most of the time, they do things without even informing their parents. I am seeing so many people, and I have no remedy for this.
Interviewer:
Still, people come to you with faith and devotion. You must have a message for them.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
I tell them a few things, sometimes I even scold them, but it doesn't change the reality. If a wife has left with another man and the husband comes to me saying, "Bring her back, I'll pay whatever it costs; I've been to many places and spent a lot of money," what can I do?
Interviewer:
So you're saying society needs to change, and mentality needs to change.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Otherwise, nothing will happen. This "education" has no value if it doesn't teach you to respect your parents, society, or teachers. I don't call that education. That is a "bad culture." The future looks even more terrifying. Some parents are even going to old age homes because they can't take the abuse from their children or daughters-in-law anymore. A daughter-in-law comes in and thinks she should be the only one in the house. In the old days of joint families, this wasn't an issue. Everyone lived together. If someone was in trouble, the whole family was there. Now, if you need someone in the middle of the night, you might not find anyone. There is no consciousness left. They don't realize that what they do today, they will suffer tomorrow. If I murder someone, there is someone behind me to murder me. Whatever behavior you show to your parents, you will receive from your children.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Nowadays, some girls come to their in-laws' house and don't like the parents-in-law. They are more inclined toward their own parents. But once you are married, you must look after your husband's parents too. That is your duty. No one teaches this anymore.
Interviewer:
We often see a mother saying, "My daughter will live separately, but my son's wife must live with me." A mother-in-law says this while telling her own daughter to live separately from her in-laws.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
These things happen in every household. The suffering of parents will only increase as time goes on.
Interviewer:
Parents are teaching this?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Think about it. A daughter will try to pull her husband toward her side. Will the son look after the parents who raised him? He gets a wife and forgets everything. This is happening in most cases. A man gets married, brings the son-in-law to live with them, and gives them a lot of money. Just the other day, I had to go to someone's house. The son is highly educated—a doctor. But he doesn't recognize his parents anymore. He fell in love with a girl who wants him to move in with her. His parents can go to hell for all he cares. This mentality is the root of everything. If there were two children, this might happen less often. You might say population is increasing, but now most houses only have one or two children. Only in very remote, uneducated areas do you see more.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
What a decline this is. Husbands and wives don't like each other. They look for each other's weaknesses to find an excuse to leave. There is no love left. Everything is bitter.
Interviewer:
For these problems, what do we expect from a Guru like you?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
When they come to me, I tell them the truth, even if it's harsh. Just today, a lady came wanting a divorce because she wants to marry someone else. Our country doesn't have a culture of multiple marriages for women; we are a Hindu society. If a husband leaves a woman, she suffers greatly. But now, people are leaving their own children to be with someone else. They are so foolish. One man left his own child to look after another woman's children because he fell in love with her. His family comes to me crying, saying he doesn't come home or eat with them anymore.
Interviewer:
You're saying we need a change in mentality and a change in conscience?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Conscience is the main thing. A person without a conscience is better off dead. If you can leave your own child for another woman's child, you are heartless. And eventually, they will suffer. That other woman will take everything, and the child will get nothing. When things get bad, they run to people like us. One mistake can haunt you for a lifetime.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
A few days ago, a boy came and fell at my feet, crying. He said he made a grave mistake. He had an affair while he had a wife. Now the wife has left with the child. His mother, who raised the child, is crying day and night. The wife won't come back, and she has kept the child at her father's house. Now he comes to me. I told him, "You have to suffer for your mistake. Why did you do it when you had a wife and child?"
Interviewer:
So you're saying spirituality never supports wrongdoing?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
No, it never will. Even if I have the power, I won't use it for that. What medicine do I have for wrongdoing?
Interviewer:
Why would you? It would be encouraging them.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Exactly. When someone comes to me and I know they have stolen something, and they ask me to perform a ritual at Tarapith to get away with it—you're a thief! If I do your work, I am encouraging you.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
So, this is what is happening. If you come here at 7:00 AM, you'll see people starting to arrive. By 10:00 AM, there are 100 people, and 50 of them are divorce cases. They say the divorce isn't coming through. Why? Because of lawyers. They keep the cases dragging on. If the divorce happens quickly, the lawyers won't make money. So they drag it out, taking money from both sides. We see this with our own eyes.
Interviewer:
Gurudev, from our discussion, one thing is clear: people's mentality and conscience must change.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
We must return to our roots. Our attire, our values—we must maintain them. Otherwise, the situation will get much worse. Clothing has changed; girls and boys dress the same. You can't distinguish them sometimes. And those who don't care for their parents... the society is in a downward spiral. Even the leaders don't pay attention to these things.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Our Chief Minister says "Government at your doorstep" and gives out rice, but does she handle these social situations? These things shouldn't even have to go to court. If they were settled fairly at home, it would be better. But they can't settle it because they are often involved in wrongdoing themselves. As soon as you try to correct someone, they point a finger back at you.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
And children see the wrongdoings of their parents. They say, "You did the same thing. You had a love marriage; why is it a crime if I do it?" I have to sit in this chair and listen to all of this. I am worried that soon the concept of "parents" will vanish. It will just be "Hi, Hello." That time has come. It hurts me. When I see these faces at night, I feel the pain. What did that innocent child do? Why did you leave your own child and go elsewhere? Some people live abroad, and their wives, unable to be with them, find someone else. Everyone has desires, and to fulfill them, they turn to other men. There are no "Sati-Savitris" (virtuous women) left like in the Mahabharata. Those days are gone.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
As society becomes more "modern," the decline is more apparent. Lust has increased. Women have more freedom and no stress because the men provide the money. They eat well and then their desires lead them elsewhere—to the neighbor's son or to chatting online. I'm not blaming them alone; it's a general decline. There is no "Sati-Savitri" or "Sita" left. We pray to God to end this misconduct. This is a country of Savitri and Sita, and yet such things are happening. Nature will punish us. Sin is like water; it binds itself. The more you sin, the more you will be trapped. That's why we say, don't sin.
Interviewer:
Dear viewers, you have heard Gurudev's discussion. Surely you will become more conscious so that we can have a beautiful society. These separations will stop. If you follow Gurudev's words, you will surely see a good result. Pranam to you, Gurudev.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Pranam.
Spiritual Insight
Guru Shyama Khyapa addresses the alarming decline of human values and the social fabric in modern India. He identifies the root causes of widespread divorce, family breakdowns, and loss of respect for parents and elders: Western cultural influences, unchecked use of mobile phones, women's financial independence without corresponding growth in character, excessive pre-marital mixing of genders, loss of traditional values, and the erosion of conscience. His observations reflect deep concern about a society that prioritizes material comfort and individual desires over duty, respect, and spiritual principles. Guru's message is clear: without a fundamental change in mentality and conscience, society faces an existential crisis. The solution requires a return to traditional values, respect for parental guidance, and the awakening of inner conscience that recognizes the karmic consequences of one's actions. This powerful conversation serves as a spiritual wake-up call for humanity to examine its choices and realign with timeless principles of dharma and family values.