Interviewer (Pradip-da):
Today, after paying my respects to the parents at Shantikunj and paying my respects to you, Guru-ji, I am starting this episode.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Yes, go ahead.
Interviewer (Pradip-da):
Guru-ji, today I want to discuss a topic that has stirred some debate among your viewers. Regarding yesterdayâs episode about the term âKul-otaâ (tradition-breaker/one who abandons their lineage), many women have expressed different views and raised questions. They felt that you portrayed women as the only ones at fault. My question is: in these situations, are women the only ones to blame? Aren't men also responsible?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Look, Pradip-da, let me tell you something. A mother is the one who introduces a child to their father. When a child starts to speak, who teaches them, "That is your father"? The mother does. So, the mother has a vital role. This world is sustained by the care of women. If women are not righteous, the children will not turn out well.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
The truth is, many men do not want to settle down. Their minds wander from one place to another. If they find one place boring, they move to another. I would call this a major crime on their partâto have a wife at home and yet associate with other women.
Interviewer (Pradip-da):
But that isn't all men, Guru-ji.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
I am specifically talking about those who do such things. I am not talking about everyone else, and they shouldn't take offense. Only those who commit these acts should feel addressed.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
A household is built by women. A man might go off to the Himalayas to meditate and wouldn't feel the need for a family. But traditionally, a woman seeks the stability of a man. This is how the Divine has created the balance. If you do not create and nurture, how will the lineage continue?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
The world is held together by the hands of women. Mother Durga said that all of womankind represents her. You have the power to raise a child to be a thief or a great person. Men often just focus on earning money to run the house. But now, women have realized that a husbandâs income alone isn't enough, so they work too. Consequently, when the husband or wife wants a child later in life, problems arise because they waited too long. Then they go to doctors, and when that fails, they come to people like us asking why they can't conceive. A womanâs greatest misfortune is not being able to hear the cry of a child calling her "Mother."
Interviewer (Pradip-da):
So, about the term âKul-otaââŠ
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
You have to maintain the family lineage (Kul). Men rarely maintain it; it is the womanâs job to keep the family together. You leave your fatherâs house to join your husbandâs family. That becomes your Kul. Even if there is friction, you should try to stay.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
However, if a man refuses to take care of his fatherâs property or legacy out of arrogance, I would call him a âKul-otaâ (tradition-breaker) as well. It isn't just about women. People misunderstood my point yesterday.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
A child is nurtured by the mother. She feeds the child. A man cannot bear a child or breastfeed. In nature, a male lion might even kill a cub because he views it as a rival. Cats sometimes do the same. This is why a mother cat hides her kittens.
Interviewer (Pradip-da):
You also mentioned supporting the abolition of old, cruel practices like Sati.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Of course. I am a human being, not a monster. Some things are naturally rightâa woman should get married and have children, and she should strive to raise them well. When a son doesn't turn out well, the mother is the one who comes to me crying. The father rarely comes; the burden falls on the mother because she gave birth to him.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Men are often bohemiansâthey wander. But the responsibility of the home lies with the woman. If women want to be independent and work, it is often because they feel they can no longer depend on men. In many places, women are still treated as commodities by men, which is a tragedy.
Interviewer (Pradip-da):
But if a woman is forced to leave because she is mistreated, is she still a âKul-otaâ?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
You are misunderstanding the term again. A âKul-otaâ is someone who willingly abandons their family and duties for selfish reasons. If a woman is kicked out of the house by her in-laws, she hasn't abandoned her Kul; she was forced out.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
I use the term for those who leave their elderly in-laws behind just to live a separate, selfish life with their husbands, cutting off all ties. But there are also women who live far away, like in Mumbai or Delhi, but still call their in-laws every day to ask how they are. That is maintaining the Kul.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
There are four Kuls to respect: your fatherâs side, your motherâs side, your in-laws, and your Guruâs family. Those who maintain these are blessed by Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Todayâs society is suffering. Alcoholism is a major factor. Men come home drunk and create chaos, and wives can only tolerate so much. In these cases, the men are at fault.
Interviewer (Pradip-da):
Guru-ji, your explanation today has been very clear. You have shown that you do respect women and that the responsibility lies with everyoneâmen, women, and parents alike.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
We discuss these things so people might understand and become more restrained. Men have less responsibility in the household, while women have more. That is why women need to be more conscious. If they are not, the household crumbles.
Interviewer (Pradip-da):
Thank you, Guru-ji. I think people will understand your perspective better now. My respects to you.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Blessings to you, son. Blessings.