Narrator:
(Sound of a conch shell blowing and spiritual background music)
Interviewer (Koushik):
Gurudeb, I have come to you today to ask about a peculiar subject. We often hear a specific word from our grandparents and the older generation—"Kulota." They often use this term for women. We don't know its literal meaning or why they used it. Could you please shed some light on this?
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Yes. A "Kulota" is someone who has abandoned their Kul (lineage/clan). There are essentially three Kuls we recognize: the paternal lineage, the in-laws' lineage, and the maternal lineage. These are the three. We often say a person has "no one in all three lineages."
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
In the old days, mothers used to focus less on formal education and more on grooming their daughters because they knew the girl would eventually go to her in-laws' house. Mothers would teach them how to cook, how to carry themselves, how to speak, and even how to comb their hair, because they were preparing them for another household.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
But nowadays, all of that has vanished. Now the focus is: "Get an education and stand on your own feet." And what we see as a result is that within seven or ten days of marriage, they are filing for divorce. Thousands of such cases come to me.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
In the past, mothers specifically taught daughters how to behave at their in-laws', how to cook specific dishes like shukto, ombol, or fish curry. Now, even though girls still go to their in-laws, they are "highly educated." Consequently, they often prioritize romantic affairs, and within days, the romance fades, leading to divorce cases. Just today, seven people came to me regarding divorce cases.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
The old ways were better. It is the law of nature that a girl leaves her father's house for her in-laws'. The in-laws' house is a significant Kul. Even the gods say—Lord Mahadev himself says in the Kalitantra—that he is pleased with those who maintain their Kul (lineage/tradition). Both Mother Durga and Lord Shiva bless those who uphold their family traditions.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
In the past, elderly women would say, "I will not leave this house; this is my father-in-law's soil." Even if the father-in-law or mother-in-law passed away, they would cling to that home. They were not "Kulotas."
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Modern women have become very selfish. They get married and then immediately try to pull the husband away. If he is an only son, they try to bring him to their own parents' house or buy a separate flat. They neglect their duties toward their parents-in-law and the family lineage. This is why they are called "Kulotas"—because they abandon the Kul.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
God never shows mercy to such women. They have to suffer through all kinds of diseases in this world. This is what the scriptures say. If a woman abandons her in-laws and their home to go off on her own, God does not forgive her. As I said, the Kalitantra emphasizes that Mahadev and Durga bless those who maintain their lineage. Those who abandon it never find peace.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Nowadays, girls go to school and college, and they get into relationships without their parents' knowledge. They just go to a temple like Kalighat and get married. I'm talking about well-to-do families here. Just recently, a high-ranking officer called me, crying, saying his son went to Kalighat to get married secretly. I told him to accept them since it was already done.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Parents raise their children with so many dreams—to find a good groom for their daughter or a good bride for their son who will serve the family. But those traditions are destroyed. The dreams of parents are shattered. People get married regardless of caste or tradition, stay together for a few months, and then the disputes and divorces begin.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
In the past, mothers-in-law were also more restrained. Though there has always been some friction, mothers knew their daughters would one day be mothers-in-law themselves, so they prepared them accordingly. Today, that preparation is gone. Girls are busy chatting on phones, getting married on a whim, and then ending it just as quickly because they "don't feel like it" anymore.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
It breaks my heart to see parents left alone. They thought a daughter-in-law would come and look after them, but instead, there is so much ego, conflict, and malice. You see it on the news—people killing each other. Someone killed their aunt just two days ago. It's shocking. If someone can kill their aunt for money, what's stopping them from killing their mother?
Interviewer (Koushik):
Gurudeb, it is said that no child can ever be happy by hurting their parents.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Impossible. It is absolutely impossible.
Interviewer (Koushik):
Yet, children are abandoning their parents for others. The parents who raised them with so many hopes are left in tears.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Yes, and they will suffer for those tears. The tears of a mother or father are very heavy; no one can escape the consequences. After a few days of "fun," they end up in divorce or at the police station, demanding back the items given during the wedding. I am telling you, seven people came to me with such stories today. One woman told me her husband is involved with three other women. I told her, "What can I do? You couldn't keep your husband's heart, and now you're running to a Tantric."
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
On the other hand, girls are also deceiving boys. They stay for two days and then leave because they found someone else on Facebook or through chatting. A man came to me recently, a fisherman, crying because his 32-year-old wife ran off with someone else, leaving behind their 17-year-old son. He asked me to bring her back. How can I? People are constantly coming to me with these problems. Out of 100 people who visit, 70 are here for these kinds of family disputes. I can perform a ritual to cure an illness, but how do I fix this?
Interviewer (Koushik):
Gurudeb, you mentioned how parents used to teach what not to do. That knowledge seems to be lost.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Exactly. Mothers used to teach singing, cooking, manners, and how to live in a new home. Now, there is no "in-laws' house" anymore. They just take the husband, buy some snacks, sit in a park, and that's their life. Then it breaks apart in a week. Society has stooped so low.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Parents-in-law are being driven out of their own homes. I have seen cases where they were physically beaten by their children. This is the downfall of society. Was education meant for this?
Interviewer (Koushik):
Gurudeb, it seems that instead of education, "mis-education" is increasing.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
That is the curse. It is a "Kushikkha" (evil education). This kind of education will ruin our country. What I am seeing in West Bengal is terrifying. People like us, who think about society, feel that society is sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Love has no value anymore; it's just a fleeting thing. I repeat, those who abandon their family lineage for their own selfish gains are cursed by Lord Mahadev.
Interviewer (Koushik):
In the past, if something happened in a neighborhood, everyone would gather to help. Now, someone can be murdered next door and nobody cares. Everyone is self-centered.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Yes, it's just "me, my husband, and my child." And they are the ones suffering.
Interviewer (Koushik):
And as you said, children are learning to use mobile phones before they even learn the alphabet.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
I am 60 years old and I still hate mobile phones. So much of this trouble happens through the phone. People complain that I don't pick up the phone. Why should I? All I hear on the phone is crying. "My daughter ran away," "My son is getting a divorce," "My children don't look after me." It's just endless sorrow. This will only get worse as time goes on. It's happening in rich homes, middle-class homes, and poor homes alike. And the mobile phone is largely to blame.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
I tell people, "Don't come to me with these things." If you can't control your children, that is your destiny.
Interviewer (Koushik):
Gurudeb, thank you. This was an important discussion. There are so many people coming here daily, and while you try to guide them, it's a massive social issue. Hopefully, through this video, people will understand that they need to look within and fix their own lives rather than just running to Tantrics.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
A Tantric cannot fix a broken heart or a broken home if the people involved have no desire to stay together. If the husband and wife aren't willing, what can anyone else do? Society will suffer, parents will suffer, and this "education" will remain a curse.
Interviewer (Koushik):
Pronam, Gurudeb.
Guru Shyama Khyapa:
Pronam.
Spiritual Insight
Guru Shyama Khyapa offers a candid and sobering perspective on the breakdown of traditional family values in modern society. Through the concept of "Kulota"—one who abandons their family lineage—he highlights how the shift from practical life skills to purely academic education has contributed to the rise of divorce, family disputes, and the neglect of elderly parents. His message emphasizes that maintaining family traditions and honoring one's lineage brings divine blessings, while abandoning these sacred duties leads to suffering. This conversation serves as a call to reflect on the true purpose of education and the importance of preserving family bonds in an increasingly disconnected world.