Host:
Welcome, viewers, to the Gupta Sadhak Shyama Kavita YouTube channel. Today, here at Shantikunj, Gurudev wishes to conduct a special episode that he and I believe is particularly relevant for our times. It concerns "Ayo-Stris"—married Hindu women.
Host:
Pranam, Gurudev. On this late afternoon, I've come to you to discuss a specific matter regarding married women of the Sanatan Dharma or Hindu faith. Could you please share your thoughts on them?
Gurudev:
Well, we are spiritually-minded beings, and our society is guided by religious paths. Now, these Ayo-Stris have many responsibilities. They are essential participants in Dev-karjyo—rituals dedicated to the gods. In almost every significant life event—be it Annaprashan (first rice-eating ceremony), Upanayan (sacred thread ceremony), or weddings—their presence is vital. They are also indispensable during major festivals like Durga Puja and Lakshmi Puja. At weddings, especially, they play a huge role.
Gurudev:
However, nowadays, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find women who truly embody the traditional definition of an Ayo-Stri. There are certain traditional signs: they must wear Shakha and Pola (conch and coral bangles) on their wrists, Sindoor (vermilion) on their hair parting and a dot on their forehead, a Ghomta (veil) over their head, and Alta (red dye) on their feet. Furthermore, they should remain devoted to their husbands and not harbor thoughts for other men. These women have specific roles, like the Baran (welcoming) ceremony during weddings, where three or five such women are required. Even for Jolsao (ritual water collection) in weddings or other pujas, it is their duty.
Gurudev:
Unfortunately, it's hard to find such women now. Many don't wear a veil, vermilion, or Alta. Their appearance no longer reflects these traditional markers. This poses a challenge for rituals like Annaprashan, where we specifically look for a married woman who has children of her own. If they don't meet these criteria, we cannot involve them in the ritual. This applies to Upanayan and weddings as well.
Host:
Gurudev, you mentioned these symbols like Shakha, Sindoor, Pola, Alta, and the veil. If a woman is married but doesn't wear these, what is the issue? Can she not participate in auspicious ceremonies?
Gurudev:
Without these symbols, they should not be included in such auspicious rituals. We don't call upon them for these tasks. Being married isn't enough; the outward signs must be present. If she isn't wearing Shakha and Pola, or Sindoor, how do we recognize her status in a ritualistic sense? Without these, she isn't traditionally considered for Dev-karjyo. This includes rituals like water collection for Durga Puja or the Sindoor Khela (vermilion play) at the end of the festival. Nowadays, these signs are rare. Even if they are married and have children, without these symbols, we don't recognize them as Ayo-Stris for ceremonial purposes.
Host:
We know you are a progressive, superstition-free spiritual practitioner. You have empowered women, even allowing them to perform the Maha Mrityunjaya Yagna. So, what is the underlying reason for your emphasis on these symbols in today's society?
Gurudev:
The reason is that these traditions are on the verge of extinction, which is saddening. For a major puja or home ceremony, it's becoming impossible to find women who follow these customs. Many modern women prefer to appear "stylish" or perhaps even present themselves as unmarried to attract attention. They might hide the fact that they have children. I often see women coming to me for their husband's well-being, yet they aren't wearing the very symbols—like Sindoor—that signify that well-being. I have even had to scold some of them. These symbols aren't just for show; they are for the husband's welfare and the prosperity of the household.
Gurudev:
I've noticed that in traditional, aristocratic, or Zamindar (landowner) families, these customs are still strictly followed. In homes with a Natmandir (temple porch), you will see the women never considering being without these signs. But elsewhere, the practice of wearing a veil or vermilion is disappearing.
Host:
So, you're saying that for the welfare of the family and the success of any ritual, these symbols are essential.
Gurudev:
Exactly. They are signs of auspiciousness. When we see a woman with Sindoor and Shakha, we feel a sense of respect—she represents the divine. Without them, that ritualistic eligibility is lost. This isn't just my opinion; it's a fundamental truth for our ceremonies. Many make excuses, saying the bangles break easily, but those are just excuses.
Host:
To our viewers, Gurudev has shared a very important perspective. For the sake of your husband's well-being, your children's future, and the welfare of your household, please consider the importance of these traditional symbols.
Gurudev:
Sadly, the essence of Hindu Dharma is fading. As the Gita says, following another's path (paradharma) is fraught with fear. We are losing our own identity and traditions. I don't know what the future holds, but perhaps a firm reminder is needed to bring people back to their roots. A woman looks most graceful and commands the most respect when she honors these traditions.
Host:
Thank you, Gurudev, for these valuable words aimed at the betterment of society. We should all reflect on this for the sake of our own well-being. Pranam.
Gurudev:
Pranam.